Riddle:
One side hopes you have a great day. The other wishes you'd just go away. One side wants to be its best self. The other just wants back up on the shelf. One side always needs the other, and yet you may require a brother. What is it?
Answer: A battery. One side is positive and the other is negative. Most devices need at least a pair of batteries.
Riddle:
What has all the letters of the alphabet but not in the correct order?
Answer: A keyboard!
Riddle:
What comes first the chicken or the egg?
Answer: Chicken! The word 'chicken' is in front of the word egg. Hence making it first.
Riddle:
If 2+2=fish and 7+7=triangle. What is 3+3?
Answer: 8. If you put 2 and 2 together, you get a fish, and if you put 7 and 7 together, you get a triangle. So if you put 3 and 3 together, you will get 8.
Riddle:
Why is there an iPhone 1-10 but there's not an iPhone 9?
Answer: Because 7 8 9(7 ate 9).
Riddle:
I am energy. I am heat. I am hot. I am red. What am I?
Answer: I am fire.
Riddle:
One day, as the famous magician and his assistant were rehearsing their act before a small group of newspaper reporters, the magician suddenly stopped speaking and appeared to go into a deep trance. His assistant wondered if she should call 911, as his entire body began to shake, but soon the shakiness diminished and he began to speak, relating the following vision he was seeing: "My house in the country is disappearing before my very eyes! My magical powers have grown too great, and now as punishment, the powers of darkness have engulfed my home and it is slowly vanishing ------ and has now disappeared completely." Suddenly, the magician's mystical trance ended, and he told his assistant and all of the reporters he had to leave immediately to see if any part of this bizarre vision had actually taken place. The curious reporters and his assistant all followed the magician to his home, and everyone was shocked to see the magician's residence had indeed vanished completely! The reporters immediately called in the fantastic story to their respective newspapers, as everyone stood around in absolute shock! How could this amazing disappearance possibly be explained?
Answer: The magician had not even told his assistant about this publicity stunt he had planned, to be assured of absolute secrecy. The magician loved his small, old country home, but he didn't like its location; so he paid a great deal of money to a whole-house moving company to move his beloved house to a location he liked better. Of course, the famous magician was not about to let this publicity opportunity pass, especially when he learned a group of reporters were to be present at one of his rehearsals, so he arranged to have his entire home physically moved to its new location, two days before the planned rehearsal, knowing his next performance would be a complete sell-out when the reporters released their stories of the event. I guess it's like they say when it comes to real estate: It's always about, "Location, location, location."
Riddle:
Three American military veterans: Ron(Army), Terry(Army), and Ron(Marines) retired from their military careers and decided to go into business together. Using all of their engineering knowledge and expertise, the three veterans have revamped an idea for an old device, made many improvements to it, and are now trying to patent it under the name: The Ron - Terry - Ron device, or (R.T.R). They advertise it by saying, "The R.T.R is designed only for those who want to move forward in life, but never backward. It is guaranteed to get your heart pumping, your blood pressure rising, and your armpits sweating"(classy advertising by these veterans). The advertising continues: "The R.T.R. is for the person who tries to move ahead, but always ends up exactly where they started." The only problem with the R.T.R device is, to use one, you will have to ignore the Gadsden flag(i.e., the one with the coiled rattlesnake pictured on it) and its famous motto. Forrest Gump would be very proud of these veterans. Just exactly what is the Ron - Terry - Ron (R.T.R.) device, and why must the Gadsden flag motto be ignored by its users?
Answer: The three veterans have made some innovative improvements to a basic Treadmill design, and are trying to patent these improvements in the hope of selling their newly created device. Of course, these veterans realize that anyone who uses their new product will be violating the early Continental Marine message and motto of the famous Gadsden flag which states, "Don't Tread on Me". Just as Forrest Gump was encouraged to "Run - Forrest - Run", we wish success to these three veterans with the words, "Ron - Terry - Ron".
Riddle:
What kind of car does a pharaoh drive?
Answer: A new bus.
Riddle:
As an April Fool's joke, a prankster, who works in an assisted living facility, created a flyer and distributed one to each room of the facility. Here is what the flyer announced: Attention!!! All residents!!! Several creatures have recently been spotted in hallways and day areas of this facility. The primary creature seen is reported to be warm-blooded, is between 60 and 72 inches in length, and has three legs and three feet. There have even been rarer sightings of several of these life forms having six legs and six feet. Anyone sighting either of these two creatures should immediately notify the receptionist for instructions. What do you suppose the living organisms were to which the prankster was referring in his April Fool's flyers?
Answer: The "creatures" to which the prankster was referring, were the residents who used canes and walkers. Each cane acted as a resident's third leg, with a foot at the base of each cane. The rarer "creatures" were the residents using four-legged walkers with a foot at the bottom of each leg. These sums were added to each resident's physical two legs and two feet which accounted for the description of the "life forms" in the flyers.
