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"Pen" Riddles - Next 10 of 284.
Riddle:
Terry was having a bad day, after having a bad week and a bad month. His long-time bridge partner had just moved away, and the stock he held in the Red Roof Inn Company had just taken a nose-dive. He felt he was ready to snap, as he climbed into his car and began to drive. Suddenly, Terry felt something snap but realized it was only a pencil he had in his pocket, but this mild irritation only fueled his pent-up anger. Terry stepped on the accelerator and headed straight for a green sedan, smashing into it and causing its trunk to fly open. He then put his car into reverse, and backed into a red mini-van, causing its hood to pop up and its radiator to burst, sending a shower of radiator fluid shooting high into the air. After continuing to smash into at least a dozen other vehicles, Terry's car finally stopped, and somehow, he miraculously stepped out of his car uninjured. Just a few moments later, two police officers, who had witnessed the entire event without intervening, approached Terry and gave him something that made him -- smile. Why hadn’t the police called for backup and intervened earlier to prevent additional damage from being done, and what was it they gave Terry which made him smile?
Answer: The two police officers had given Terry a First Place Trophy for his having just won a Demolition Derby they had all just witnessed.
Riddle:
What's the difference between a penniless man and a feather bed?
Answer: One is hard up, while the other is soft down.
Riddle:
What did the nurse say when he found the rectal Thermometer in his coat pocket?
Answer: Some asshole must have my pen.
Riddle:
A poor, elderly woman lived alone with her dog. One day she noticed her dog appeared to be very hungry, so she went to her food storage area where she kept her dishes and cups, to search for food to serve to him. She was surprised to find she had no food whatsoever for either herself or her dog ------ not even so much as a bone to serve to her starving pet. And so, neither she nor her dog had anything to eat. How often had these same circumstances occurred to this lady and her pet? Why had no one called Senior Services or the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (S.P.C.A.) to report these dreadful conditions? Incidentally, do you happen to know this woman's last name?
Answer: Her last name was Hubbard. Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard to get her poor dog a bone....
Riddle:
What happens when a red rock falls in a purple pond?
Answer: The rock gets wet!
Riddle:
Two fathers and three sons walk into a candy shop and buy one candy bar each for 50 cents each. They walk out only spending $1.50. How do they do that?
Answer: There is a grandfather a father and son of grand father and fathers son.
Riddle:
A man wants to watch some TV, but the TV won't turn on with the remote. There's no power button on the TV, so he can't turn it on with the monitor. But 5 minutes later, he's happily watching TV. What happened and what did he do?
Answer: The TV was unplugged, so he plugged it back in.
Riddle:
There's a body lying dead on a bed, and on the floor beside it is a pair of scissors. The scissors were instrumental in his death, yet there's no trace of blood. The body reveals no signs of any cuts or bruises. How could the person have been murdered with a pair of scissors?
Answer: The person slept on a waterbed. His killer used the scissors to cut the bed open and drown him.
Riddle:
Endlessly, I hunger, Lazily, I sleep. Murderous, I thunder, Desires, I do seek. Hoarding countless treasures, so my stature I retain, Envious of others whose feet on Earth remain. What am I?
Answer: "The Seven Deadly Sins" - Reasoning: Each sentence structure portrays one of the seven deadly sins from Christian theology, with the exception of the final 5 words. In order according to the riddle, these are; gluttony, sloth, wrath, lust, greed, pride and envy. The final 5 words, "whose feet on Earth remain", act in conjunction with the section on envy, demonstrating the perspective of a sinner in hell, who is envious of those still alive, and thus can still repent for their sins in order to enter Heaven.
Riddle:
You are watching a video of a pencil being sharpened in a sharpener. The pencil is getting longer not shorter. How is this possible?
Answer: The video was backwards.
