Riddle:
Irene is an amazing artist. She can draw anything and everything, and draw them all well. The unique thing about Irene's art is she uses both of her hands to draw her pictures, even though she is not ambidextrous. Holding a round piece of plastic in each of her hands, she is able to create magnificent works of art. Irene, however, has one great fear in her life --- Earthquakes!!! Now, Irene is a mentally healthy person with a stable personality, so why in the world should this talented artist have a constant fear of earthquakes, which rarely happen in the state of Florida where she resides? Does her fear of earthquakes have anything to do with her type of artwork, and if so, exactly what type of art does Irene create?
Answer: Irene is an Etch-a-Sketch artist who keeps her completed pictures on the walls of her home. One good shake from an earthquake, and all of her pictures could be erased.
Riddle:
A young, aspiring musician who lived on a farm, had been given the task of monitoring the family’s livestock. The young lad was supposed to see to it that the cows and sheep stayed together as they had been trained to do, but unfortunately, as youngsters often do, he allowed himself to drift off and fall asleep beneath a pile of animal fodder, and as a result, the cows wandered into a field of corn, while the sheep made their way into a grassy meadow. Can you identify this irresponsible youth?
Answer: Little Boy Blue.
Riddle:
Terry was having a bad day, after having a bad week and a bad month. His long-time bridge partner had just moved away, and the stock he held in the Red Roof Inn Company had just taken a nose-dive. He felt he was ready to snap, as he climbed into his car and began to drive. Suddenly, Terry felt something snap but realized it was only a pencil he had in his pocket, but this mild irritation only fueled his pent-up anger. Terry stepped on the accelerator and headed straight for a green sedan, smashing into it and causing its trunk to fly open. He then put his car into reverse, and backed into a red mini-van, causing its hood to pop up and its radiator to burst, sending a shower of radiator fluid shooting high into the air. After continuing to smash into at least a dozen other vehicles, Terry's car finally stopped, and somehow, he miraculously stepped out of his car uninjured. Just a few moments later, two police officers, who had witnessed the entire event without intervening, approached Terry and gave him something that made him -- smile. Why hadn’t the police called for backup and intervened earlier to prevent additional damage from being done, and what was it they gave Terry which made him smile?
Answer: The two police officers had given Terry a First Place Trophy for his having just won a Demolition Derby they had all just witnessed.
Riddle:
How do scientists freshen their breath?
Answer: With experi-mints.
Riddle:
A poor, elderly woman lived alone with her dog. One day she noticed her dog appeared to be very hungry, so she went to her food storage area where she kept her dishes and cups, to search for food to serve to him. She was surprised to find she had no food whatsoever for either herself or her dog ------ not even so much as a bone to serve to her starving pet. And so, neither she nor her dog had anything to eat. How often had these same circumstances occurred to this lady and her pet? Why had no one called Senior Services or the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (S.P.C.A.) to report these dreadful conditions? Incidentally, do you happen to know this woman's last name?
Answer: Her last name was Hubbard. Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard to get her poor dog a bone....
Riddle:
Mississippi has four S's and four I's. Can you spell that without using S or I?
Answer: T-H-A-T!
Riddle:
I would hold you in my embrace until you go blue in the face. You're a deer, you're the apple of my eye eat me and you'll die. What am I?
Answer: Cyanide.
Riddle:
What can be held without hands but has to be let go?
Answer: A grudge.
Riddle:
On a certain planet located in one of the outer spiral arms of the Milky Way Galaxy, three life forms are seeking to capture other life forms and incarcerate them in glass prisons. The authorities on this planet have allowed such imprisonments for hundreds of years, despite the fact many of the captured life forms often die within 24 hours of their confinement, either by being accidentally crushed to death or by suffocation, as some of the prison cells do not have proper ventilation to supply needed oxygen to the prisoners. On this planet, hunting for these living creatures takes place after dark. The three hunters mentioned above do not follow any tracks to find their quarry, but instead, rely on these creatures to expose themselves, which they do by emitting short bursts of light. If it wasn't for the Prime Directive, I'm certain Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, or the Federation of Planets would have put an end to this barbaric practice of hunting and imprisoning these life forms long ago. By the way, what form of life were the three hoping to capture?
Answer: The three youngsters were hunting lightning bugs.
Riddle:
Three men, three women, and six young children are all seated around a table, staring at a dead body. This is neither a wake nor a funeral, and no one at the table appears to be distressed or sad. In fact, everyone appears to be smiling. The oldest of the three men, an elderly man with a grizzled, white beard, stands up and instructs everyone at the table to lower their heads, as he proceeds to say a few words over the deceased. The old man then says one final word, picks up a long, sharp knife, and plunges it into the corpse on the table --- much to the delight of the onlookers! Will the evils of this world never cease?! Must children be forced to watch these types of twisted, warped proceedings; or are these events less horrid than they appear? What is the one final word said by the old man with the white beard, and just what exactly is going on here?
Answer: The family members are all sitting around a table waiting for the man with the white beard to say his prayer of thanks for all of God’s blessings to them. The last word of his prayer is, “Amen”, after which, he proceeds to carve the Thanksgiving turkey, which is the dead body laying on the table.
