Question: A train was on its way to Florida and derailed.
Where would they bury the survivors?
Where would they bury the survivors?
Answer: They wouldn't need to, the survivors are still alive!
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Question: While on my way to St. Ives,
I saw a man with 7 wives.
Each wife had 7 sacks.
Each sack had 7 cats.
Each cat had 7 kittens.
Kitten, cats, sacks, wives,
How many were going to St. Ives?
I saw a man with 7 wives.
Each wife had 7 sacks.
Each sack had 7 cats.
Each cat had 7 kittens.
Kitten, cats, sacks, wives,
How many were going to St. Ives?
Answer: Just one, me.
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Question: This old one runs forever, but never moves at all. He has not lungs nor throat, but still a mighty roaring call. What is it?
Answer: A Waterfall.
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Question: Dave and Brad, two popular politicians, met at a club to discuss the overthrow of their party leader. They each ordered a vodka on the rocks. Brad downed his and ordered another. He then drank his second in a gulp and decided to wait before he ordered a third. Meanwhile, Dave, who was sipping his drink, suddenly fell forward dead. Both men were setup for an assassination. Why did Dave die and Brad live?
Answer: Both Dave and Brad were given drinks with poisoned ice cubes. Brad drank his drinks so quickly that the ice didn't have time to melt and release the poison.
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Question: There once was an evil wizard. He took 3 woman from their homes and turned them into rose bushes that looked exactly alike. He put them in his garden.
One of the woman had a husband and children and begged the wizard to let her see them.
He agreed. At night, he brought the woman to her house. In the morning he came and took her home.
One day the husband decided to go rescue her. So he snuck into the wizard's garden.
He looked and looked at the 3 identical rose bushes trying to figure out which could be his wife. Suddenly, he knew the answer and he took his wife home.
How did he know which rose bush was his wife?
One of the woman had a husband and children and begged the wizard to let her see them.
He agreed. At night, he brought the woman to her house. In the morning he came and took her home.
One day the husband decided to go rescue her. So he snuck into the wizard's garden.
He looked and looked at the 3 identical rose bushes trying to figure out which could be his wife. Suddenly, he knew the answer and he took his wife home.
How did he know which rose bush was his wife?
Answer: The wizard brought the rosebush to her home at night and returned her to the garden in the morning. Therefore, she was the only plant without dew.
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Question: Whoever makes it, tells it not.
Whoever takes it, knows it not.
And whoever knows it wants it not.
Whoever takes it, knows it not.
And whoever knows it wants it not.
Answer: Counterfeit money.
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Question: Samuel was out for a walk when it started to rain. He did not have an umbrella and he wasn't wearing a hat. His clothes were soaked, yet not a single hair on his head got wet. How could this happen?
Answer: This man is bald!
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Question: I come in darkness, but fill the mind with light.
I bring enlightenment to some, while gripping others in the hand of fear.
With me it can be a journey of inexplicable joy and sorrow.
What I will show you will often be unreachable.
Journey with me and what you see may haunt you.
Journey with me and you may never want to return home.
Journey with me and you will never know when it will end.
What am I?
I bring enlightenment to some, while gripping others in the hand of fear.
With me it can be a journey of inexplicable joy and sorrow.
What I will show you will often be unreachable.
Journey with me and what you see may haunt you.
Journey with me and you may never want to return home.
Journey with me and you will never know when it will end.
What am I?
Answer: Your dreams.
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Question: The answer I give is yes, but what I mean is no.
What was the question?
What was the question?
Answer: Do you mind?
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Question: What can be swallowed, but can also swallow you?
Answer: Pride.
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